Life Can't Stay Perfect for Long

Sometimes I don’t even know where to begin with what I want to say. Last Wednesday, May 4^th, Brytnee gave me the news that she was pregnant. I have been crying for days now. She was so scared to tell me. I can’t even blame her. Of course, I asked her about an abortion and even though she knows that would be the best thing for her, she cannot emotionally handle it. She talks about adoption and with so many months to go, I don’t know if she will even be able to do that. I just hope and pray she does.

She will be moving in with Shauna for some time. Now that is going to be an experience for everyone. I just want Bryt to be good and follow her rules ... ... OH. . Please! Again, I want to bring her home and try to fix everything. Does this feeling ever go away? I don’t think it will with her. I don’t worry like this with Shandee and Cris. My baby girl I do.

Two states apart is killing me. I want to help her with all of the hard things she has to get done. Help keep her organized, appointments for everything. I am a mess and I don’t usually get this way.

Cris and I have less than a month to move in with Robert. I have so much going on at work I can’t think straight sometimes. I am so overwhelmed some days. Lists, lots and lots of lists.

Robert is working in San Leandro and doing RWP at the same time. He still has to get Cris’ room done for him. I feel so bad for all the hard work he is doing. He is so tired most days. Damn, we are both exhausted.

I am too old for this entire BS.

The good things. I need to focus on the good things. J It is our 2 year anniversary this week. A wonderful dinner, looking at rings and deciding on when and where to get married. I like this whole eloping part. I like feeling like this.

Now can the rest of everything fall back into place?

Life is What it Should Be

Here it is May 2^nd and less than 30days from living full time with my perfect man. He isn’t perfect, but he is MY perfect. I have to admit that I am a little scared. I didn’t think I would be, but I am. This is moving closer to us getting married and that scares me even more. Not in any bad ways, just in vulnerable ways. Those, I have been in love before, but this one is the real deal, ways. The, I don’t want to ever live without you ways. I keep re-reading my words and I am so corny. But I love feeling this way too. <3

CJ isn’t too pleased about his free nights and anonymity being taken away. But there are prices to pay for being young and going to a good college. He will soon learn just how busy he will be and how much of his time will be taken up with school and all if it activities. 

I can’t explain how good it feels to have a double income again and some pressures relieved and someone to share decisions with. I do some much better with a partner in finance. WHEW.

Life is finally feeling complete and what I thought my life should be. How did I ever deserve what I have? I am so very blessed with my family!!!